HAPPY NEW YEAR from WOMEN'S EMPOWERMENT INITIATIVE

How to REALLY be Successful with 2009 New Year’s Resolutions http://ping.fm/kUl9E

... reading, "The secret of contentment is the realization that life is a gift not a right." I am so grateful for the gift of your life!

thinking, "No one ever said on their deathbed: I wish I would have spent more time at work!" I'm spending time with family and friends. :-).

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Know how to tell which of your new friends, old friends, and former friends actually understand you? Easy... the ones who still love you.

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Have a Fearless Day!

Anna D. Banks
Anna@AnnaBanks.com
www.AnnaBanks.com
www.StrictlyBusinessRadio.com

Follow me on TWITTER - www.Twitter.com/annabanks


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Have a Fearless Day!

Anna D. Banks

Anna@AnnaBanks.com
http://www.AnnaBanks.com

Host@StrictlyBusinessRadio.com
http://www.StrictlyBusinessRadio.com

Follow me on TWITTER - www.Twitter.com/annabanks

Toye Kirkland featured guest on "An Empowered Woman" Radio Show

"Take Ten" with An Empowered Woman,
Toye Kirkland

Our own Toye Kirkland, owner of Toye Kirkland Interiors, was the featured guest on the December 7, 2008 edition of "An Empowered Woman" Radio Show hosted on BlogTalkRadio.com.

Listen as Toye Kirkland from Toye Kirkland Interiors shares quick holiday design tips, like what to do when "Oh boy...company's coming" and what could give you a "Big Bang for Little Bucks". Quick, afforable, redesign for your home or office.



Contact Toye Kirkland at Info@ToyeKirklandInteriors.com

Last Minute Holiday Touches on the Cheap!

By Kathy Wilson - The Budget Decorator
Budget Decorating Columnist

Last minute details can take a holiday home from ho ho hum to spectacular, and doesn't have to cost a lot of cash! Here are some great quick, easy, and inexpensive ideas to wow your guests and comfort your family.

*Use those leftover bits of wrapping paper and a hole punch to make confetti. (Great job for the kids!) Use the colorful confetti to sprinkle across holiday tables for festive cheer, or save for that midnight moment!

*Invest in a large roll of wire edged ribbon in gold or silver, so that it can be used for all holidays right into New Years. Learn to tie fanciful bows, or just tie a simple bow to the backs of dining chairs, around stemware, or around your silverware. Let it ribbon through holiday centerpieces, over mantels, or stream it across doorways. Go to http://www.save-on-crafts.com/howtomakebows.html to learn to tie several different bows!

*Use graham crackers, a little frosting, and cookies and candies from the dollar or discount store to create a wonderful Gingerbread House centerpiece in no time! This is one of those projects that make memories, so bring the kids to the table, make a replica of your own home, or make replicas of friends homes and give as gifts! The best frosting to use is a stiff one, with no ingredients that will spoil. Remember, you can color some frosting to make grass and trees.

*Have your children pitch in with holiday decorating, and ask them if they have any toys that would like to watch for Santa! Tie ribbon around the neck of a teddy and tuck onto the mantle, use wooden blocks to spell out Christmas words or sayings…create a toy wonderland from your own "backyard" so to speak!

*Drop by your dollar store and pick up some Christmas wrapping paper. (Yes, it is just a buck!) Wrap some of the pictures from your walls like gifts, add a bow, then re-hang. I like to do this just in the entryway for more impact using less dollars! You could also "wrap" your front door or window with a bow and ribbon,and some packing tape.

*Cut simple holiday shapes out of paper or felt, then hang with thread from curtain rods, hanging lamps, doorways or over the outside of a lampshade. Try your hand at paper snowflakes, and hang them in groups in your windows.

*Stamp holiday shapes on your glass windows with craft paint. Mix acrylic paint with an equal amount of dishwashing liquid soap, then use to stamp snowflakes, stockings, and santas on the inside of your windows. After the holidays, it will clean right off with window cleaner and a non abrasive scrub pad. (You know, the kind that is safe for non stick cookware, so that it doesn't scratch your windows.)

*Finally, light those candles, and bring the sparkle of the holidays right to your table each and every night, don't wait for company!

Enjoy the joy of the season, and Happy Holidays from The Budget Decorator!


===========================

Kathy Wilson is an author, columnist, and editor of The Budget Decorator. For hundreds of free budget decorating ideas and to sign up for her free newsletter and ebook, visit her at http://www.TheBudgetDecorator.com

Tips to Make Your Home Sparkle for the Holidays

(ARA) – Holiday entertaining requires more than artful decorations, tasty
hors d’oeuvres and some cheerful libations. Savvy hosts know that great holiday entertaining occurs in a home that sparkles as brightly as the decorations that adorn it.

The holidays can be a time to truly let your hostess skills shine, as family and friends gather to celebrate. From beautifully polished silverware on the table, to a well stocked refrigerator that is fresh and inviting when guests go looking for a soft drink, to a home filled with the aroma of just-baked confections - every detail should convey the holiday theme of bright and shiny.

To ensure you’re ready to welcome guests this holiday season, lifestyle expert Jill Cordes offers tips to make your preparations a cinch.

Holiday Aromas

Evergreen trees, the smell of fresh-baked goods and cranberry scented candles – the holidays are filled with wonderful aromas. Don’t let smelly leftovers overpower the joyful scents of the season.

* Guests will appreciate a refrigerator that is clean and odor free, and a sink area that doesn’t suffer from “stinky disposal syndrome.” Place an open box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda in the refrigerator to absorb odors and prevent taste transfer between foods. Deodorize the garbage disposal and drains by pouring baking soda down them while running warm tap water.

* Get the smell of fresh garlic from all that holiday cooking off your fingers by rubbing your hands on stainless steel, either a stainless steel spatula or along the edge of your sink. Then wash with regular soap and water. The stainless steel neutralizes the odors.

Holiday Sparkle

The star atop your Christmas tree shouldn’t be the only thing in your home that shines for the holiday.

* To get your best silverware and jewelry sparkling for holiday get-togethers, make an easy, affordable silver polish with a paste of three parts baking soda to one part water and rub with a cloth. For gleaming crystal, clean with vinegar and lemon juice.

Foods of the Season

Meals savored with loved ones are the characteristic “flavor” of the holiday.

* Store heart-warming winter greens like Swiss chard, spinach and kale in an open container in the fridge. Cauliflower should be stored stem side down, whereas broccoli stores best standing upright on the bottom shelf. If you leave them in the plastic bags you bought them in, remember to poke holes in the bag to allow the greens to breathe so they last longer.

* Store fresh tomatoes on your counter with the stem side down to prevent bruising and softening.  Never store tomatoes in the refrigerator, where they immediately begin to lose flavor; or in closed containers or sealed plastic, which cause premature ripening.

*Make sure your baked goods “rise” to the occasion this holiday season. Try this quick and easy recipe for light, moist old-fashioned corn bread:

Ingredients:

1 cup sifted all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon Arm & Hammer Baking Soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups cornmeal

2 eggs, beaten

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

3 tablespoons shortening, melted

Directions:

Sift together flour, baking soda and salt. Stir in cornmeal. Combine eggs, buttermilk and melted shortening. Add the liquid ingredients to the dry ingredients, stirring only until smooth. Turn into a well-greased 8-by-8 inch pan. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes at 425 degrees. Cut into 16 squares.

Holiday Home Cleaning  

From top to bottom, a clean home will tell your guests how much you value their comfort while they visit your home.

*Don’t season your fresh holiday ham with chemicals – clean your food prep area by wiping cutting boards, counters and oven tops with food safe, chemical-free cleaners.

*Since spills can happen, have cleaning supplies on hand so that guests don’t feel embarrassed or stressed about a stain on your upholstery or carpet. You can also freshen your carpet right before your friends and family arrive. Just sprinkle some baking soda, wait 15 minutes and vacuum.  Your guests will be greeted by the scent of the delicious holiday meal cooking in your kitchen and not your smelly carpet.

For more ideas and tips on holiday entertaining from Jill Cordes and Arm & Hammer, the most recognized baking soda brand, visit www.ArmandHammer.com.


Courtesy of ARAcontent

List of Social Networking Sites

By Doug McIsaac at www.dougmcisaac.com



social marketing

When you think of social networking sites, there are some obvious candidates that may immediately come to mind. It may be surprising to know how many different social networking sites are actually out there. Here is a basic list of social networking sites online, but this list is by no means exhaustive.

Blogging - These are social networking sites that either center completely around communicating through blogging, or put a large emphasis on the concept of blogging.

- Blogger, http://www.blogger.com
- Livejournal, http://www.livejournal.com
- Twitter, http://www.twitter.com
- Windows Live Spaces, http://www.spaces.live.com/
- Wordpress, http://www.wordpress.com
- Vox, http://www.vox.com
- Xanga, http://www.xanga.com

General Social Networking - These are the core of the social networking concept, with names like MySpace, Flickr, YouTube and Facebook leading the pack.

- ClassMates, http://www.classmates.com
- Bebo, http://www.bebo.com
- Deviant Art, http://www.deviantart.com
- Facebook, http://www.facebook.com
- Flickr, http://www.flickr.com
- LinkedIn, http://www.linkedin.com
- Meetup, http://www.meetup.com
- MySpace, http://www.myspace.com
- YouTube, http://www.youtube.com
- Gather, http://www.gather.com
- imeem, http://www.imeem.com
- Itsmy, http://www.itsmy.com
- My Yearbook, http://www.myyearbook.com
- Webshots, http://www.webshots.com

International Social Networking - These sites are especially popular in international countries, or are intended to cater to residents of a specific country. Friendster, for example, is a worldwide social networking site but it is especially popular in countries other than the United States. Biip, on the other hand, is a social networking site designed for the Norwegian community.

- Friendster, http://www.friendster.com
- Face Party, http://www.faceparty.com
- Friends Reunited, http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/
- Biip, http://www.biip.no/
- Cloob, http://www.cloob.com/
- Cyworld, http://us.cyworld.com/
- Fotolog, http://www.fotolog.com/
- Frühstückstreff, http://www.fruehstueckstreff.org/
- Grono, http://www.grono.net
- Habbo, http://www.habbo.com
- hi5, http://www.hi5.com
- Hyves, http://www.hyves.nl
- IRC Galleria, http://www.irc-galleria.net/index.php
- iWiW, http://www.iwiw.hu/
- Profile Heaven, http://www.profileheaven.com/

Niche Interests - These are social networking sites that are geared toward certain interests like music lovers, bibliophiles, coffee enthusiasts or pop culture.

- Advogato, http://www.advogato.org/
- Amie Street, http://www.amiestreet.com/
- ANobii, http://www.anobii.com/
- CafeMom, http://www.cafemom.com
- Buzznet, http://www.buzznet.com
- Broadcaster, http://www.broadcaster.com
- Cake Financial, https://www.cakefinancial.com/
- Care2, http://www.care2.com/
- Eons, http://www.eons.com
- TravBuddy, http://www.travbuddy.com/
- Travellerspoint Travel Community, http://www.travellerspoint.com/
- BlackPlanet, http://www.blackplanet.com
- Elftown, http://www.elftown.com
- Flixster, http://www.flixster.com
- Geni, http://www.geni.com
- Goodreads, http://www.goodreads.com
- Gossip Report, http://www.gossipreport.com
- Guild Café, http://www.gamerDNA.com
- Hospitality club, http://www.hospitalityclub.org
- Last.fm, http://www.last.fm
- Library Thing, http://www.librarything.com/
- Lifeknot, http://www.lifeknot.com/
- Live Mocha, http://www.livemocha.com
- One World TV, http://tv.oneworld.net/
- Plaxo, http://www.plaxo.com
- Ravelry, http://www.ravelry.com
- Sci Space, http://www.scispace.net/
- WAYN, http://www.wayn.com/

Social Media - These sites specialize in sharing media and news with other members of the community.

- Digg, http://www.digg.com
- StumbleUpon, http://www.stumbleupon.com
- Del.icio.us, http://del.icio.us
- Reddit, http://www.reddit.com
- Fark, http://www.fark.com

Younger Generation - These are social networking sites that are best suited for younger generations and students.

- College Tonight, http://thequad.com/
- Gaia Online, http://www.gaiaonline.com
- NeoPets, http://www.neopets.com
- Student.com, http://www.student.com
- Reunion, http://www.reunion.com

Each one of these sites can be a good solid way to drive targeted traffic to your articles or your website. Before you ask, yes, you have to be careful not to do and outright sales pitch on your post. But with a little thinking on your part you will be able to make a useful post that is directed to your target market, without coming across as spam.

Some of the sites will not lend themselves to this marketing strategy, unless you are very creative in your post. Consequently you will find yourself being banned and your post being deleted if you violate the terms of service of those and others reflected on this list of social networking sites.
social marketing, social networking


This post was written by:

dougmcis - who has written 43 posts on dougmcisaac.com.

I've been building businesses for almost twenty years. I retired from RMTG, Inc November 2006 and started working with coaching clients within months of that retirement.

Marketing Your Business Using FaceBook

Controlling Stress and Toxic Relationships - 10 Self-Coaching Suggestions For Surviving the Holidays

By Drdeah_Curry

It's sad but true that the season extending from Thanksgiving through New Year's is often the most stressful time of year in families and close friendships. Depressions deepen, anxieties rise, and aggressions and frustrations get unleashed, causing serious emotional frustration. It can't all be blamed on global warming, the election outcome, or seasonal affective disorder.

Some stress at this time of year is predictable. We're spending more money than is sensible in a down economy on gifts for people we may not even like. We're fighting shopping crowds and endless traffic, and waiting in interminable lines at the post office. We feel pressured to attend social functions that drain our energy, where we over-eat and over-drink to the level of feeling miserable. And we call this holiday cheer? Bah humbug.

For those who long to celebrate the holidays in the true spirit of a multi-culturally meaningful season, here are some ideas for gracefully creating a stress-free inner climate of peace and good will.

Taking Control of Personal Stressors

1. Know Your Limits and Live Within Them. Whether it's saying no more often, or setting a ceiling on spending and other indulgences, pay attention to how you use your energy and resist using it out of guilt. Do only what your heart and spirit are really joyful about doing.

2. Take Even Better Care of Yourself Than Usual. In periods of predictable stress, it's important to maintain daily health routines. Getting the rest, nutrition, exercise, and hydration the body needs strengthens our ability to tolerate small irritatants. If you have to get less sleep, or skip meals or workouts in order to have time for activities that are inherently stressful, you're not taking good care of yourself.

3. Believe in Your Essential Goodness. Many people are driven to take on more stress than necessary out of an erroneous belief that if they don't they will be seen as bad, flawed, uncaring, or mean. Allowing guilt, fear or anticipation of others' disapproval to dictate how we use our energy is an act of giving in to a tyrrany of toxic assumptions and dysfunctional expectations. If you are caught in this trap, start telling yourself that you are a good, kind, and caring person and that doesn't change if you decline an invitation, or refrain from sending obligatory gifts and cards.

4. Redefine, Reschedule, Resist, and Renew. Stress can be managed well by redefining priorities, rescheduling anything that doesn't have a critical deadline, resisting the impulse to "fix" others, and saving yourself enough time and resources for personal renewal.

5. Give in a Meaningful Way. The commercialized holiday scene pressures us into thinking we must buy, buy, buy to appropriately give, give, give. But mindlessness only serves meaninglessness, and leaves us feeling empty, dissatisfied, stressed out, or worse. Find a meaningful way to give to others that makes an important difference in their lives to connect yourself to the spirituality of the season -- the universally hoped for return of enLightenment, and peace to the world.

Ending Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is one in which you are continually emotionally abused, feel unsafe or discouraged in being fully authentic, or are disempowered and left unable to get your psychospiritual needs met. Attacks of criticism and ridicule that come out of the blue are difficult to defend against in effective ways, much less in a loving manner.

Toxic relationships do not have to be endured, no matter who they are with. We don't have to put up with cruel, sarcastic, disapproving, abusive behavior to keep the peace. I coach those who are in such relationships to give to themselves the gift of severing ties with such people, if not permanently, then especially during the holiday season. Here are a few ways to do that:

1. Decline to attend family gatherings that include abusive, critical, or shaming relatives. You do not owe anyone an explanation for choosing to keep healthy boundaries. Celebrate with friends or alone, instead.

2. Be clear, explicit and firm about your limits. Say "I can come to dinner only on Tuesday, and will need to leave by 9 pm." Keeping your own boundaries puts more control in your hands, and lowers stress levels.

3. Use the broken record technique to enforce your right to your own decisions. Repeat as necessary, "I'll be at Tuesday's dinner, but will be leaving by 9 at the latest...I'll see you at the dinner, and I'll be ending my evening by 9...Even though I will be leaving before 9, it will be good to talk to you at Tuesday's dinner." Resist others' attempts to talk you out of what you know is best for you.

4. Start stress-free traditions with friends, co-workers, neighbors or others who are not toxic. Traditions are just culturally laden habits that segments of society or family groups practice together. Decide with a new group of people what is meaningful and celebratory.

5. Take a holiday break; celebrate alone. When your world is crowded with toxic relationships, sometimes the best thing is to withdraw from all of them during the holidays. Spend the time exploring and nurturing your own spirit, dancing to your own drumbeat. Tune in to the natural world, journal, create, take a trip. Follow your own quest for meaning and be really conscious about what and why you are celebrating.

Controlling stress and toxic relationships at any time of year requires forethought, effort, and perhaps a bit of courage. The key is to let others own their own feelings about your need to take care of yourself, and for you to be mindful about how you manage your energy.

Get free tips for a Stress-Less Holiday Season for Singles, on my website http://www.EmotionalFirstAid-Coaching.com If you need coaching to help you get through the holidays, see http://www.DeahCurry.net for details on the coaching process and how it differs from counseling.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Drdeah_Curry

Tips for Dealing with Stress & Depression during Holidays by Shelby Hill at 3PM on Strictly Business Radio 12-9-08 http://ping.fm/Jsu1V

Insider Tax Tips and Advice for Entrepreneurship and Business Development on Strictly Business Radio 12-4-08. http://ping.fm/gigzO

"Stay Safe Online" - Strictly Business Radio host Anna Banks, interviews Etienne Gibbs, Internet Security Educator http://ping.fm/sNPX4

Anna Banks interviews Coach Colette Ellis on Strictly Business Radio today. Get tips for your social enterprise. http://ping.fm/KWD9B

Advice for Entrepreneurs in an Uncertain Economy

(ARA) - The news ticker on the TV at the gym shows the dollar falling, the morning paper forecasts economic doubt, and the economic outlook appears to be dreary everywhere you turn. While it may seem counter-intuitive, business experts will tell you that now is a great time for entrepreneurs looking to start a new business. Often, times like these are when fortunes are made.

But how can an aspiring entrepreneur go about starting a business when the market seems against them? How can someone with big plans and new ideas ensure success in a dramatically different economic atmosphere? There are two things that will always be essential in getting a new business off the ground; a water-tight business plan and capital.  

From Drawing Board to Blackboard

Those possessed by the entrepreneurial spirit and raring to get their business up and running sometimes find it difficult to translate great ideas into a well-thought-out business plan. For those, a trip back to the classroom may be necessary. Many entrepreneurs consider enrolling in an MBA program in order to fine-tune business practices and methods before a real-world launch.

“I get to see people who are very talented walking in the door a little lost -- perhaps lacking some skills, habits or practices -- become great business people,” says Phil Siegel, a successful serial entrepreneur and teacher at the Acton School of Business.

While traditional MBA programs have faced criticism for churning out risk-inclined financial speculators and investment bankers that led to the near-demise of Wall Street, other MBA curriculums with a focus on sound business practices and principled entrepreneurship are seeing a spike in interest.

“An MBA isn’t just for someone looking to land a job on Wall Street anymore,” says Siegel. “There are a few great schools offering an education that teaches how to really start and run a business from the ground up.” A handful of respected schools focus on the skills necessary to build and operate a business by offering MBA programs with entrepreneurship-specific tracks. Acton, where Siegel teaches, furthers the trend with their intensive one-year MBA in Entrepreneurship, an entire program focused on developing principled entrepreneurs and teaching them the tools, skills and judgment they need to run their own businesses.

Finding an Investor

For those who have the entrepreneurial enthusiasm, the know-how, and the structure in place to start building a business, but don’t yet have the funds to do so, the next step is finding an investor. Siegel says not to get discouraged even though investors may seem more tight-fisted given the economic downturn. “If you’re looking for money for a new venture, there are plenty of investors out there,” says Siegel. “The current economy hasn’t really affected the enthusiasm for great ideas.”  

However, he cautions that all the normal “do’s and don’ts” of seeking funding are magnified in this kind of environment. Siegel urges entrepreneurs to:

1. Have a plan. “Come up with a business plan that is clear, concise, internally consistent and reasonable for the market opportunity.”

2. Know your customer. “Understand your customer and know why they would buy your product or service instead of what they buy today. Do market research, and have customer ‘pilots,’ if necessary, to prove that your product has value.”

3. Seek out experts. “Bring experts to your aid; they can help increase your credibility. In good times, people tend to believe your story, but in bad times, they’re more skeptical.  

4. Prepare for profits. “Having done your business planning and preparation, ask yourself how you’re going to spend the money you are seeking. Who do you want to invest in your venture? What milestones are you going to reach in this round of investment capital? What will you need in terms of financing after you achieve your initial goals to get cash flows to break even?”

There will be many stops along the path to any entrepreneur’s first ribbon-cutting. Whether an MBA, an investor, both or neither are in their future, the advice given here should help any startup weather the economic storm.

“People are still willing to write checks,” concludes Siegel, “they’re just a little bit more careful, and a lot more cranky.”

For more information on the Acton School of Business’ one-year MBA in Entrepreneurship program, please visit www.actonmba.org

Courtesy of ARAcontent

WEI Board Member, Anna D. Banks, Speaks at "Managing Violence at Home" Conference in Philadelphia, PA

Managing Violence at Home Workshop of 2008 - Special Guest Speakers – Dr. Rosalyn Pitts, Beverly Mays, MA and Anna D. Banks, GCDF. The panel and discussion was moderated by Commissioner Bridgette Obradovic, Governors Advisory Commission on African American Affairs.

Responding to the need for discussion, education and awareness about domestic violence issues, the Women’s Empowerment Initiative (WEI) of the Presbytery of Philadelphia, PCUSA and the Governor's Advisory Commission on African American Affairs (GACAAA) sponsored the “Managing Violence at Home” workshop on Saturday, November 22, 2008. The workshop was hosted at the Women’s Empowerment Center at 4950 Aspen Street, Philadelphia, PA.

The increasing number of Domestic Violence abuse cases especially among the women, in Philadelphia,Pennsylvania, is alarming. The following statistics are an indication of the severity these insidious crimes:

• Currently, Philadelphia is averaging about 1 out of every 4 women being abused, either physically or sexually, or otherwise coerced into sexual behavior by their partner.

• One in 6 women and 1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.

• Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.

• The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year. $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services.

Opening remarks were given by Wanda McNeil, WEI President, who issued a warm welcome to all attendees. The half-day program featured a “Managing Violence at Home” panel & small group discussions moderated by Commissioner Brigette Obradovic. Featured panelist included Dr. Rosalyn Pitts of Pitts Psychological Services; Beverly Mays, MA, Therapist, Drug & Alcohol Counselor and Anna D. Banks, GCDF, professional trainer, domestic violence awareness advocate, and radio talk show host from
New Jersey.

Brief remarks were also given by Sonya M. Toler, Executive Director of Governor’s Advisory Commission on African American Affairs.

About Women’s Empowerment Initiative (WEI):

The Women’s Empowerment Initiative (WEI) is dedicated to impacting the lives of women disadvantaged by social or economic circumstances. The initiative will enable women to enhance and develop their quality of life and become architects of their future by presenting opportunities for spiritual, educational and economic transformation.

The imitative is committed to empowering women, thereby strengthening families and transforming communities.

About Governor’s Advisory Commission on African American Affairs (GACAAA):

GACAA is committed to assisting African Americans in gaining full access to all opportunities afforded to the citizens of the Commonwealth. The Commission members, appointed by the Governor, bring extensive talent, expertise and knowledge to the Commonwealth and are dedicated to working with the Governor, his staff and all sincere Pennsylvanians who share a belief in the concepts of equal justice, opportunity and equality for all of our citizens.

The commission is solution-oriented and committed to creating the necessary linkages, both private and public; to assure inclusion of African Americans at all levels within the Commonwealth.

This holistic approach of working with all people of goodwill will insure the success of the Commission and the full citizenship rights of its African American citizens.

Dr. Niama L. Williams (Dr. Ni) interviewed 11-20-2008 on "Strictly Business Radio" by host Anna D. Banks http://ping.fm/A4jwL

Is anyone teaching (off-line) internet marketing for local WAHMs, SOHOs, Start-ups and other small business? I'd love to hear from you.

Salsa, Cards and Fun Night - November 14, 2008

By Anna D. Banks

Domestic Violence Awareness Month Workshop - October 2008

By Anna D. Banks

WEI September 2008

By Anna D. Banks

Why Hackers Love Non-Profits and Small Businesses. On www.StrictlyBusinessRadio.com - http://ping.fm/1ecEK

Anna is excited that there are great people, in the New Jersey, like Maureen Walliser, CEO of Hudson Community Enterprise, Jersey City, NJ.

Add This: http://ping.fm/HfLFH

The KEY to Attracting Everything You Want
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By Anna D. Banks




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NJ Resource Guide for Women: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

NJ Resource Guide for Women
Section VII:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
NJ Department of Community Affairs
Division on Women
Summer 2008


Domestic Violence:♦
Domestic violence is the occurrence of one or more of the following criminal acts committed against a victim, who is 18 years of age or older or an emancipated minor*, by an adult:

􀂃 Assault
􀂃 Burglary
􀂃 Criminal Mischief
􀂃 Criminal Restraint
􀂃 Terrorist Threats
􀂃 Criminal Sexual Contact
􀂃 Criminal Trespass
􀂃 False Imprisonment
􀂃 Harassment
􀂃 Homicide
􀂃 Kidnapping
􀂃 Lewdness
􀂃 Sexual Assault
􀂃 Stalking

*Emancipated minor means a person who is under 18 years of age but who has been married, has entered military service, has a child or is pregnant, or has been declared by a court or administrative agency to be emancipated.

Identifying An Abusive Relationship:

♦ Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors that some individuals use to control their intimate partners. Domestic violence can include physical, sexual and emotional abuse, and other controlling behaviors.

Does Your Partner Ever:
􀂃 Hit, kick, shove or injure you?
􀂃 Use weapons/objects against you or threaten to use them?
􀂃 Force or coerce you to engage in unwanted sexual acts?
􀂃 Threaten to kill you, himself/herself, children, pets, or others?
􀂃 Control what you do and who you see in a way that interferes with your work, education or other personal activities?
􀂃 Steal or destroy your belongings?
􀂃 Constantly criticize you, call you names or put you down? Make you feel afraid?
􀂃 Deny your basic needs such as money, food, housing, clothing, or medical and physical assistance?
􀂃 Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
􀂃 Threaten to hurt you or others, have you deported, disclose your sexual orientation or other personal information?

If you answered "YES" to any of the above questions, it may be time to think about your safety. Call 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233) for a referral to a local support program in your area.


Know You Are Not Alone:
♦ Abusers often isolate victims and threaten harm if anyone else discovers the abuse. As a result, victims think they are the only ones involved in this type of relationship. Domestic violence happens more than you think, and people are prepared to help.

Domestic Violence Can Happen to Anyone:

♦ Domestic violence is a crime.
Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. More than one million people report a violent assault by an intimate partner every year in the United Sates. Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of employment or educational level, race or ethnic background, religion, marital status, physical ability, age, or sexual orientation.

Domestic Violence Is NOT Your Fault:
♦ If you are being abused by your partner, you may feel confused, afraid, angry and/or trapped. All of these emotions are normal responses to abuse. You may also blame yourself for what is happening, but no matter what others might say, you are never responsible for your partner’s abusive actions. Batterers choose to be abusive. Abusers blame their victims as though they deserved to be abused. The perpetrator is always responsible for his/her actions. Abusers are completely responsible for their behavior, regardless of their habits or weaknesses.

Identifying Support:

♦ Developing a support network can be very helpful to you as you plan for your safety. There are many places to turn for resources, support and assistance. Part of an abuser’s power comes from secrecy of the abuse. Let people know what is happening so they can look out for your well-being. Any pattern of abuse is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Domestic Violence Programs:
♦ Each county in New Jersey offers programs that offer a variety of free and confidential services for victims of domestic violence.

NJ Domestic Violence Hotline
Toll Free: 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233)
Web: http://www.nj.gov/dca/dow/countyresourcesdv.shtml

♦ Provides a statewide 24-hour, seven day a week domestic violence hotline to serve domestic violence victims and others seeking information about domestic violence. The Hotline provides bilingual service and is accessible to the hearing impaired. To find domestic violence services in your area, visit the Division On Women’s website noted above.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: Community Support
􀂃 Family
􀂃 Friends
􀂃 Co-workers
􀂃 Neighbors
􀂃 Churches
􀂃 Service Providers (legal, health, counseling centers)
􀂃 Women’s & Community Groups

Planning for Your Safety:
♦ If you are currently in an abusive relationship, it is important for you to take
precautions to ensure your safety. Without help, domestic violence often continues to get more severe over time. It sometimes can become deadly.

♦ Create a Safety Plan in the event that you are abused again:

􀂃 Tell others you trust, such as friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers, what is happening and talk about ways they might be able to help.
􀂃 Memorize emergency numbers for local police (such as 911), support persons and crisis hotlines.
􀂃 Identify escape routes and places to go if you need to flee from an unsafe situation quickly.
􀂃 Talk with your children about what they should do if a violent incident occurs or if they are afraid.
􀂃 Put together an emergency bag with money/checkbook, extra car keys, medicine, and important papers such as birth certificates, social security cards, immigration documents, and medical cards. Keep it somewhere safe and accessible, such as with a trusted friend and/or a bank safety deposit bank.
􀂃 Trust your instincts—if you think you are in immediate danger, you probably are. Get to a safe place as soon as you can.
􀂃 Seek medical attention if you are hurt. Hospitals and satellite emergency departments are required to provide care and information to sexual assault victims about emergency contraception and the contraceptives upon request.
􀂃 Keep a written record of the abuse.
􀂃 Know your legal rights, there are laws in place to help and protect you.

NJ Domestic Violence Hotline
Toll Free: 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233)
♦ Provides a statewide 24-hour, seven day a week domestic violence hotline to serve domestic violence victims and others seeking information about domestic violence. The Hotline provides bilingual service and is accessible to the hearing impaired.

NJ Coalition for Battered Women
Phone: (609) 584-8107
Web: http://www.njcbw.org/

♦ This is a private, non-profit coalition of domestic violence county programs that provide services for battered women in New Jersey.

Programs That Provide Business Attire For Victims of Domestic Violence:
♦ Your local domestic violence program may be able to provide victims of domestic violence business attire on a case-by-case basis.
♦ For a listing of local domestic violence programs, visit the NJ Division on Women’s website at http://www.nj.gov/dca/dow/countyresourcesdv.shtml or contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-572-7233 [SAFE].

Storage Facilities For Women Who Have To Go Into Domestic Violence Shelters:
♦ Your local domestic violence program may be able to assist victims of domestic violence in locating temporary storage facilities on a case-by-case basis.
♦ For a listing of local domestic violence programs, visit the NJ Division on Women’s website at http://www.nj.gov/dca/dow/countyresourcesdv.shtml or contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-572-7233 [SAFE].

How Domestic Violence Affects Pets:
♦ 88% of pets in abusive household are abused or killed (A Safe Place).
♦ 20-25% of battered women delay seeking safety for themselves and their children because they fear for the lives of the pets left behind (The Animal Companion).
Ways Domestic Violence Victims Can Protect Their Pets

􀂃 Develop an emergency plan for sheltering the pets, themselves, and their children.
􀂃 Establish ownership of the pets (obtain an animal license, proof of vaccinations or veterinary receipts all in the victim’s name to help prove they own the pets).
􀂃 Prepare the pets for departure (collect vaccination and medical records, collar and Identification, medications, bowls, bedding, etc.).
􀂃 Ask for assistance from law enforcement or animal care and control officers to reclaim the pets if left behind.

Help Is Available:
New Jersey County Domestic Violence Programs
♦ Each county in New Jersey offers programs that offer a variety of services for victims of domestic violence.

♦ Your local domestic violence program may be able to assist victims of domestic violence locate temporary shelter for their animal companions on a case-by-case basis.

♦ For a listing of local domestic violence programs, visit the NJ Division on Women’s website at http://www.nj.gov/dca/dow/countyresourcesdv.shtml or contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-572-7233 [SAFE].

SASHA—Safe and Sound Housing for Animals Mount Pleasant Animal Shelter 194 Route 10 West East Hanover, NJ 07936–2701 Phone: (973) 386-0068 or (973) 386-0590 Fax: (973) 386-0773 Web: http://www.njshelter.org/
E-mail: robin@njshelter.org
Contact: Robin Buchanan, Shelter Director

􀂃 Mt. Pleasant Animal Shelter is a limited admission facility founded in 1972, welcoming orphaned cats and dogs as room permits. Quality veterinary care, microchipping, pediatric spay/neuter and kennel enrichment are provided for every animal in our care, and animals are never euthanized for lack of space.

􀂃 Helps women and their animal companions in Morris County.
The Tender Loving Critter Care
St. Hubert's 575 Woodland Avenue Madison, NJ 07940–0159 Phone: (973) 377-5609 or (973) 377-7094 Fax: (973) 377-5012 Web: http://www.sthuberts.org/
E-mail: info@sthuberts.org
Contact: Carolyn Currey, Director

􀂃 St Hubert's is a non-profit animal welfare organization dedicated to alleviating the suffering and neglect of companion animals, and providing services that support the human-animal bond.

􀂃 Their shelters provide safe refuge and compassionate care for thousands of lost, abandoned, abused and unwanted dogs and cats every year.

􀂃 Helps women and their animal companions in northern and central New Jersey.
The Humane Society of the United States (HSUS)
Toll Free: 1 (888) 213-0956
Web: http://www.hsus.org/
􀂃 The HSUS offers a free brochure, “Protecting Your Pet From Domestic Violence,” for battered women. To receive this brochure, call the above toll-free number.
􀂃 To view a state-by-state directory of safe haven programs, visit the above website.


Dating Violence—For Teens & Young Adults In Controlling or Violent Relationships:♦ Being a teen or young adult in a dating relationship does not mean that you have to deal with physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse. Although you may want to be committed and supportive of your partner, there is no excuse for this type of behavior.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - Myths About Dating Relationships:
􀂃“A guy needs to be in control of the relationship.”
􀂃“A girl is to blame when a guy hits her.”
􀂃“It is understandable to hit her—maybe next time she will learn not to make me angry.”
􀂃“I love him. I am the only one who can help him.”
􀂃“Some girls ask for it—that is why they stay.”
􀂃“I should not have nagged him. It was my fault he got angry.”
􀂃“When a guy gets angry, he cannot help it. He is uncontrollable.”
􀂃“I was drunk. I did not know what I was doing.”
􀂃“She hit me first and I hit her back. Everybody does it sometimes.”
􀂃“If she really loved him, she could make him change.”
􀂃“If I could figure out what sets him o ff and not do it, maybe he could stop.”

All of the above statements are excuses—there is NO EXCUSE for any kind of violence in a dating relationship.
Are You In An Abusive Dating Relationship?
􀂃 Are you frightened by your partner’s temper?
􀂃 Are you afraid to disagree with your partner?
􀂃 Are you constantly apologizing for your partner’s behavior, especially when he or she has treated you badly?
􀂃 Do you have to justify every place your go, everything you do, or every person you see just to avoid your partner’s anger?
􀂃 Does your partner constantly put you down and then tell you that he or she loves you?
􀂃 Have you ever been hit, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you?
􀂃 Do you not see family or friends or do things just because of your partner’s jealousy?
􀂃 Have you been forced into having sex when you did not want to?
􀂃 Are you afraid to break up because your partner has threatened to hurt you or himself/herself?

If you answered "YES" to any of the above questions,
it may be time to think about your safety. Call 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233) for a referral to a local support program in your area.

Your Rights in a Dating Relationship:􀂃 Express your opinions and have them be respected
􀂃 Have your needs be as important as your partner’s needs
􀂃 Grow as an individual in your own way
􀂃 Change your mind
􀂃 Fall out of love and break up with someone and not be threatened
􀂃 Have a relationship free from physical, sexual, or emotional abuse
􀂃 Not take responsibility for your partner’s behavior
􀂃 Grow as an individual in my own way and not be criticized for it
􀂃 Have friends of your own
􀂃 Be respected, loved and live a peaceful life
􀂃 Say “no”
If You Are In An Abusive Dating Relationship, You Can:
􀂃 End the relationship and choose not to see your partner
􀂃 Get help from someone you trust, preferably an adult, and/or your school counseling center
􀂃 Call 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233) for a referral to a local support program in your area
Help Is Available:

NJ Domestic Violence Hotline
Toll Free: 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233)

♦ Provides a statewide 24-hour, seven day a week domestic violence hotline to serve domestic violence victims and others seeking information about domestic violence. The Hotline provides bilingual service and is accessible to the hearing impaired.

NJ Coalition for Battered Women
Phone: (609) 584-8107
Web: http://www.njcbw.org/
♦ This is a private, non-profit coalition of domestic violence county programs that
provide services for battered women in New Jersey.

New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NJCASA)
Hotline: 1 (800) 601-7200
Phone: (609) 631-4450
Web: http://www.njcasa.org/
♦ NJCASA is the collective voice for victims of sexual violence, their loved ones
and rape crisis centers across NJ. Its member centers represent each of NJ’s 21 counties.

NJ Domestic Violence Services
Phone: (609) 292-8840
Web: http://www.nj.gov/dca/dow/countyresourcesdv.shtml

♦ To find domestic violence services in your area, contact the Division On Women
at the above phone number or visit the website.
State Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy
Phone: (609) 896-8855
Web: http://www.njvw.org/index.html
E-mail: victimassistance@dcj.lps.state.nj.us

♦ As a crime victim or a witness of a crime, you have certain rights in the criminal
justice system. There are many services available to you so that your participation in the criminal justice system will be less stressful and more informed. This is accomplished through the State and County Offices of Victim-Witness Advocacy. In each of the 21 county prosecutors' offices there is a County Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy.

The Shelter Housing Exit Program (SHE)
Phone: (609) 633-9183
Web: http://www.nj.gov/dca/dh/she/index.shtml
♦ Provides housing assistance to victims of domestic violence with children, who
are receiving shelter or transitional housing services from domestic violence programs across the state. Security deposits and up to two months rent are available to help victims of domestic violence leave shelters. The program also provides long-term assistance, in the form of security deposits and up to six months of housing assistance payments, to help those families who need assistance into the future. Referrals for the SHE program must come through the victim’s local domestic violence shelter. Each county of New Jersey offers programs that have a variety of services for victims of domestic violence.

State of New Jersey Address Confidentiality Program Act
Toll Free: 1 (877) 218-9133
♦ The New Jersey Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) provides assistance to
individuals who, as a result of domestic violence, have relocated for their safety. The Address Confidentiality Program provides eligible victims of domestic violence with a substitute mailing address, which has no connection to their actual location. This substitute mailing address may be used when creating new records and/or updating records with state or local government agencies.

♦ The ACP will forward program participant's first class mail FREE OF CHARGE.
The use of a substitute address will limit access to information about the location of individuals participating in the program.
Unemployment Insurance (UI) Program
Phone: 201-601-4100; Union City (for Northern New Jersey)
732-761-2020; Freehold (for Central New Jersey)
856-507-2340; Cumberland (for Southern New Jersey)
Web: https://wnjpin.state.nj.us/cont/index.html

♦ Individuals who are unemployed due to circumstances resulting from domestic violence may be eligible for unemployment insurance benefits. A claim for unemployment insurance benefits can be filed over the internet at https://wnjpin.state.nj.us/cont/index.html or by calling one of the three Remote Call Centers: Union City 201-601-4100 (for Northern New Jersey), Freehold 732-761-2020 (for Central New Jersey) or Cumberland 856-507-2340 (for Southern New Jersey).
Regaining One's Self-Esteem (R.O.S.E.) Fund Phone: (617) 482 5400
Web: http://www.rosefund.org

♦ The R.O.S.E. (Regaining One's Self-Esteem) Fund is a national non-profit organization committed to ending violence against women and their children by assisting women survivors of violence to regain their self-esteem. By helping women to achieve a positive self-esteem. The R.O.S.E. Fund hopes to empower individual women victims to achieve self-sufficiency, rebuild their lives, and ultimately help end violence within society.

Legal Options:


Criminal Charges
♦ If you or other loved ones have been physically injured, threatened, raped, harassed or stalked, you can report these crimes to the police. Criminal charges may lead to the abuser being arrested and possibly imprisoned.
Restraining/Protective Orders

♦ Even if you choose not to press criminal charges, you can file for a civil court order that directs your partner to stay away from you. In many states, restraining/protective orders also can prohibit the abuser from having contact with you at work, home or anywhere you specify, evict your partner from your home and grant you child custody and the abuser may be ordered to pay child support. Under the law, the judge has the authority to honor your requests by ordering any judgment against the abuser that will aid in your protection.

State Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy
Phone: (609) 896-8855
Web: http://www.njvw.org/index.html
E-mail: victimassistance@dcj.lps.state.nj.us

♦ As a crime victim or a witness of a crime, you have certain rights in the criminal justice system. There are many services available to you so that your participation in the criminal justice system will be less stressful and more informed. Basically, this is accomplished through the State and County Offices of Victim-Witness Advocacy.

In each of the 21 county prosecutors' offices there is a County Office of Victim-Witness Advocacy.

Legal Services of NJ
P.O. Box 1357
Edison, NJ 08818
Toll Free: 1 (888) LSNJ-LAW (576-5529)
Web: http://www.lsnj.org/

♦ This is a private, non-profit organization that provides legal assistance to low-income people in civil matters. For more information about this organization, please visit their website or call them directly on their toll free hotline.
Domestic Violence Representation Project (DVRP)

♦ The DVRP was established in 1996 to provide legal assistance to low-income
domestic violence victims and support for pro bono attorneys willing to represent victims of domestic violence. The project offers legal advice and representation to eligible victims of domestic violence at Final Restraining Order hearings as well as in divorce, custody, child support and visitation cases. Please call LSNJ's main number, (732) 572-9100 or 1 (888) 576-5529.


Immigration Representation Project (IRP)

♦ Created in 1998, the IRP works to address the needs of low-income immigrants in New Jersey for legal representation in a variety of immigration-related matters, and to provide support for attorneys willing to provide pro bono representation to this population.

The Immigration Representation Project will provide direct representation to low-income immigrants, focusing primarily on the following types of cases:
􀂃 Naturalization cases involving complex issues;
􀂃 Self-petitioning to secure lawful permanent residence for women who are victims of domestic violence;
􀂃 Asylum cases for detained and non-detained clients;
􀂃 Representation in other immigration matters where the client faces the potential loss of public benefits due to their immigration status or where there are other exigent circumstances.
Clients can access the project by calling the toll-free number, 1-800-LSNJ-LAW (1-800-576-5529).
Women’s Law Project (NJ)
Phone: (609) 394-1506

♦ Attorneys trained in domestic violence serving Burlington, Mercer and Ocean Counties.

New Jersey County Domestic Violence Programs:

♦ Each county in New Jersey offers programs that offer a variety of services for victims of domestic violence. A listing of domestic violence programs throughout the State that can provide additional information, support, and advocacy services follows:

New Jersey County Domestic Violence Programs

Atlantic County

Atlantic County Women's Center
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Toll free Hotline: 800-286-4184
TTY: 609-645-2909

Bergen County

Shelter our Sisters
Alternatives To Domestic Violence
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 201-944-9600
TTY: 201-836-3071
24 Hr. Hotline: 201-336-7575
TTY: 201-336-7525

Burlington County

Providence House/Willingboro Shelter
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 609-871-7551
Toll free: 877-871-7551
TTY: 609-871-7551 or 877-871-7551

Camden County

Camden County Women's Center
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 856-227-1234
TTY: 856-227-9264

Cape May County

CARA, Inc. (Coalition Against Rape & Abuse, Inc.)
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 609-522-6489
Toll free: 877-294-CARA [2272]
TTY: 609-463-0818

Cumberland County

Cumberland County Women's Center
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 856-691-3713
24 Hr. Toll free: 800-286-4353
TTY: 856-691-6024

Essex County

Babyland Family Violence Program
The Safe House

The Rachel Coalition c/o Jewish Family Service

Linda & Rudy Slucker National Council of Jewish Women (NCJW)

Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 973-484-4446
TTY: 973-497-5510
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 973-759-2154
Emergency Safehouse 24 Hr. Emergency Paging Service: 973-740-1233
Outreach/Non-Residential Services Office: (973) 994-4994

Gloucester County

Center for Family Services
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 856-881-3335
TTY: 856-428-8373
Office: 856-881-4034

Hudson County

Womenrising, Inc. Battered Women's Program YWCA of Hudson County
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 201-333-5700
TTY: 201-333-0547

Hunterdon County

Women's Crisis Services
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 888-988-4033
TTY: 866-954-0100

Mercer County

Womanspace, Inc.
Emergency Shelter 24-Hr. Hotline: 609-394-9000
TTY: 609-394-9000 or 888-252-SAFE [7233]

Middlesex County

Women Aware, Inc.
Manavi, Inc.*
* A non-profit organization for women who trace their cultural heritage to Bangladesh, India, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka.
Emergency Shelter 24-Hr. Hotline: 732-249-4504
TTY: 732-249-0600 Office: 732-435-1414

Monmouth County

180 Turning Lives Around
Emergency Shelter 24-Hr. Hotline: 732-264-4111
Toll free: 888-THE-WCMC [843-9262]
TTY: 732-264-3089

Morris County

Jersey Battered Women's Services, Inc. (JBWS)
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 973-267-4763
TTY: 973-285-9095

Ocean County

Providence House - Ocean
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 732-244-8259
Toll free: 800-246-8910 (from "609" area code only)
TTY: 732-244-8259 or 800-246-8910 (from "609" area code only)

Passaic County

Passaic County Women's Center Domestic Violence Program
Project S.A.R.A.H.
Strengthen Our Sisters
Emergency Shelter 24-Hr. Hotline: 973-881-1450 TTY: 973-278-8630 Hotline: 888-883-2323 24-Hr. Hotline: 800-SOS [767]-9470 or (973) 728-0007

Salem County

Salem County Women's Services
Emergency Shelter 24-Hr. Hotline: 856-935-6655
Toll free: 888-632-9511
TTY: 856-935-7118

Somerset County

Resource Center For Women and Their Families
Emergency Shelter
24-Hr. Hotline: 908-685-1122 Toll free: 1-866-685-1122
Office: 908-359-0003

Sussex County

Domestic Abuse Services, Inc.
Emergency Shelter 24 Hr. Hotline: 973-875-1211
TTY: 973-875-6369

Union County

Project: Protect
Emergency Shelter 24-Hr. Hotline: 908-355-HELP [4357]
TTY: 908-355-1023

Warren County

Domestic Abuse & Rape Crisis Center (DARCC)
Emergency Shelter 24-Hr. Hotline: 908-475-8408 Toll free: 1-866-6BE-SAFE [623-7233]
TTY: 908-453-2553


What to Do When You Care—Supporting Victims of Domestic Violence:

􀂃 It is critical to create a strong support system that empowers a victim of domestic violence to break the cycle of violence.

􀂃 For many reasons, it is often difficult for a woman to acknowledge she is being abused by the person who is supposed to love her.

􀂃 Talking to a friend who you suspect is being abused may be difficult for you, but it may be the best way to be a friend.

􀂃 Sometimes, people would like to assist victims of domestic violence, but are unsure what to say or do. Below please find information on supporting a colleague, friend, or family member who is a victim of domestic violence:

What you CAN say to someone who you suspect is being battered:

“I care about you and I am sad this is happening to you. You do not deserve to be abused. The violence will get worse. I am afraid for your safety.”

You should:
􀂃 Emphasize that you are concerned. Let the victim know you are supportive and that she is not responsible for what is happening to her – it is not her fault.
􀂃 Emphasize that when the victim is ready, there are a number of options available to help her. Allow her to make the decision that she needs help. Do not try and diagnose or treat the problem yourself, but offer to help her, including making contact with referral agencies.
􀂃 Demonstrate that you respect her decision if she decides to stay with her partner, even though you many not agree with it. Some victims leave and return to their partners several times. Let her know you support her no matter what and that going back does not mean failure.
What NOT to say to someone who you suspect is being battered:
“If someone hit me once, I would leave. I don’t know why you don’t just leave!”
􀂃 You do not know why she is not leaving. Her reality is probably very different than yours. Leaving a partner can be a very difficult process and often is a dangerous process for victims of domestic violence. In most cases, the most dangerous time for a victim is right after she leaves.
􀂃 Do not dismiss her fears of him as if she is overreacting.
􀂃 Do not try to instill shame in her for making the decision to stay or return to the relationship.
􀂃 Do not tell her she is a battered woman – let her tell you.

Women’s Referral Central

Toll Free: 1 (800) 322-8092
24 hours a day/ 7 days a week

♦ Provides information and referrals to women in New Jersey through a statewide toll-free telephone line. The Hotline provides referrals and basic information in areas such as discrimination, affordable housing, displaced homemakers, addiction services, continuing education, domestic violence, employment, legal assistance, divorce and separation, violence, health care, sexual assault, sexual harassment, stalking, child care, child support/custody, single parenting, job training, social services, services including medical, mental and reproductive health and other areas of concern.

Celebrating the Class of 2008 - Financial Peace University at Harambee

Happy Graduation

Debt Snowball - A Proven Strategy for Paying Off Debt FAST!

By Anna D. Banks

A Proven Strategy for Paying Off Debt FAST!

The Debt Snowball is the most talked about strategy for paying off debt fast. That's because it works. It's recommended by recognized financial expert Dave Ramsey and other financial gurus.

How the Debt Snowball Works

List all of your debts, in descending order by balance, regardless of the interest rate (accounts with smallest balance first).

Determine the most money you can make available from your budget to apply to the debt snowball. The more you can apply, the more money you'll save and the faster you'll pay off your debt.

Each month, apply the minimum payment PLUS the extra money you've made available from your budget to the first debt (the one with the smallest balance). On all your other debts, pay only the minimum payment. Continue to do this until the first debt on the list is paid off.

Take the minimum payment AND the extra payment you were making on the first debt and add them to the minimum payment you've been paying on the second debt. Pay that amount on the second debt each month until it's paid off, then move on to the third debt. Continue to pay only the minimum payment on all debts except the one you're "snowballing."

Repeat this process until all of the debts are paid off.

It will not take long before the payment you're making on the targeted debt becomes quite large, as you add the payments you were making to all the other accounts (that you've now paid off) to the payment on the debt you're now focusing on. Your cash flow remains the same throughout the process but the monthly payment you make to the targeted debt grows larger and larger.

Several Web sites provide online Snowball calculators so you can see for yourself how the Snowball would work for you. The Snowball Calculator allows you to enter up to 20 debts and will show you which debts to pay off first, and the amount of the payments. The Debt Snowball Calculator allows you to order your debt in several different ways to see you much you'd save under each method.

Many people have raved as to how well the Debt Snowball works. It just takes commitment to being debt free. As Dave Ramsey says, "if you can live like no one else, later, you can live like no one else!"

FPU Lesson 4: Dumping Debt.

By Anna D. Banks

In Lesson 4, Dave Ramsey gives us a plan for getting out of debt and also staying out of debt.

Most of us know, first hand, that debt destroys, marriages, families, friendships, communities and even countries. However, the statistics that Dave shared are positively frightening:

• 25% of American families have a NEGATIVE net worth now


• more young adults file bankruptcy than graduate college now


• colleges lose more students due to massive debt loads than academic failures


• last year credit card companies collected $90 BILLION in penalty fees alone


• last year, credit card companies reported profits of over $150 BILLION

Steps to getting out of debt:

1. Quit borrowing more money. Don’t take on any more debt.


2. Cut up credit cards. Go cold turkey. Credit cards can mess up your budget on many levels.


3. Sell stuff. Go crazy. You have way more than you need or use anyway.


4. Get an extra job. Take side jobs to accelerate paying off your debts. This can be temporary.


5. Debt snowball. Pay off the lowest debt first, then use the amount you were paying for that debt and roll it over to the next debt.


6. The debt snowball debt reduction plan is one of the best plans available for paying off debt. It helps people to see immediate results and gain momentum in their plan to be debt free.


7. Go ahead and start your own debt snowball reduction plan and begin your journey toward financial freedom and financial peace.

Praise Reports:

• All families have started saving toward Baby Step 1 – $1,000 Emergency Fund.


• More than ten families have completed Baby Step 1 - $1,000 in the Emergency Fund


• One family has fully funded Baby Step 3, having SIX months living expenses in the Emergency Fund.


• Six families cut up their credit cards - 10-12 cards in total!


• It was especially exciting when the rest of the class began applauding after each family’s “plasectomy”.

Next week: Lesson 5 -

Credit Sharks in Suits...Understanding Credit Bureaus & Collection Practices

FPU Lesson 3 - Cash Flow Planning

Week 3 - Cash Flow Planning

Dave teaches us step by step how to put together a zero-based monthly budget and how to complete all of the financial management forms. Taking control of your money takes time, effort and patience. Check your progress at LEAST once a week and give your budget 90 days to really start working.

~ Plus, get a refresher on how to balance your check account!

~ Plus, Don't forget to download and print all of your Budget Forms!

Key Points:

~ Spend all money on paper before the month begins.

~ Use the Envelope System for successful cash management.

~ Give your budget 90 days to really start working.


Remember:

~ Set up your Gazelle Budget online.

~ Print a copy of your Gazelle Budget to bring to the next class.

~ Start using at least one (1) envelope in your Deluxe Envelope System



Scriptures from Lesson 3 - "Cash Flow Planning:

1. “Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, And attend to your herds; “ Proverbs 27:23 (New King James Version)

2. “[Put first things first.] Prepare your work outside and get it ready for yourself in the field; and afterward build your house and establish a home.” ~ Proverbs 24:27 (Amplified Bible)

3. "Woe to the obstinate children," declares the LORD, "to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin; ~ Isaiah 30:1 (New International Version)

4. The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. ~Proverbs 21:5 (New International Version)

5. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. ~ Proverbs 16:3 (New International Version)

6. May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. Psalm 20:4 (New International Version)

7. “…by his knowledge the deeps were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew. My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. ~ Proverbs 3:20-22 (New International Version)

8. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” - Matthew 6:21 (New International Version)

9. "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' ~ Luke 14:28-30 (New International Version)

Next Week: Lesson 4 - Dumping Debt

FPU Lesson 2 - Relating With Money

By Anna D. Banks


In Lesson 2, Dave Ramsey describes the difference in how men and women relate to money. Money is one of the top (if not the top) causes of divorce because money accentuates value differences. Both partners should be involved in budgeting and make money decisions. There are two types of people when dealing with money: nerds and free spirits. Nerds like analyzing and creating complex spreadsheets. Free spirits don’t want to be controlled. If you’re not married, it’s good to get an accountability partner.

Dave then outlines the rules for a budget committee meeting.

* The meeting can’t go longer than 17 minutes
* Nerds make a proposed plan and bring it to the meeting. They give it to the free spirit and then shut up and let them look at it.
* The free spirit has to show up, act like an adult and give positive feedback.

Kids and Money

* Dave talks about teaching kids how to relate to money and the value of paying “commissions” for chores.
* You can teach your kids to be responsible with money by making them save for some of their own purchases.
* Whenever your kids get money, help them separate the funds into three envelopes: giving, spending, and saving.


Next Week:

Lesson 3 - Cash Flow Planning

Financial Peace University Off to a Great Start - FPU Lesson 1 - Super Savers

By Anna D. Banks

On Sunday, May 4, 2008, the first class of Financial Peace University (FPU) at Harambee Center began. The response was great! In fact, it was standing room only in the room reserved for the class. It was a small group but I think it will be a great class. The Super Savers lesson was absolutely hilarious. I think everyone in the class was pleasantly surprised that the video sessions were entertaining as well as informative.

Discussion after the video went very well, according to Small Group leaders (SGLs), Sharon & Billy Brown; Andrea & Carl Davis; and Louise Reeves. In addition to our Elmwood church family, we had families from Staten Island, Woodbridge, and Parsippany drive to the East Orange to be apart of this class. These families, who are faithful listeners of the Dave Ramsey Show, found out about FPU at Harambee from the Dave Ramsey website www.DaveRamsey.com.

Here’s a brief summary of the lesson:

Super Savers (week 1)

Dave Ramsey provides an overview of the program. He covers the value his “Baby Step #1,” a short-term emergency fund which he defines as “$1,000 in the bank.” Do not touch the emergency fund, except for in emergencies. Savings is about emotion and you’ll only save if you make it a priority. Social Security will not provide enough for a secure retirement. Money is amoral - it’s not good or bad but can be used for good or bad purposes. Don’t spend more than you earn.

You must learn to save for three things: emergency fund, purchases, wealth building (retirement, college, etc.). By saving for purchases and paying in cash you can negotiate better deals. Start saving NOW - the sooner you start the more of an impact compound interest can have. He goes through some examples of how compound interest works. He emphasizes the importance of obtaining a high interest rate of return on your savings. Make your long-term savings automatic. Cut up your credit cards and never use them again. Budget ahead for things like clothes, Christmas (and other important holidays) vacations, and all the expenses that you know are coming.

The main “take away” from our first class was that we need to remember, as small as our baby steps may be they are still steps forward. As long as we keep going in this direction we will complete the journey.


Next Week: Lesson 2 - Relating with Money

Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford

By Anna D. Banks

If you have not seen this Saturday Night Live (SNL) skit, it will amuse you. Just click this link --> Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford


Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford
SNL offers a revolutionary debt and money-management program. Chris Parnell teaches Steve Martin and Amy Poehler the secret to financial success. It's all detailed in a new book called, "Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford." Every FPU member in America should read it.
_________________________________________________________
Here's the transcript of the video clip:


Wife.....Amy Poehler
Husband.....Steve Martin
Author.....Chris Parnell


[ open on couple trying to balance their checkbook ]

Wife: (sighs) I just can't get these numbers to add up.

Husband: Like we're never going to get out of this hole.

Wife: Credit card debt, does it ever end?

CP: [walks in] Maybe I can help.

Husband: We sure could use it.

Wife: We've tried debt consolidation companies.

Husband: We've even taken out loans to help make payments.

CP: Well, you're not the only ones. Did you know that millions of Americans live with debt they cannot control? That's why I developed this unique new program for managing your debt. It's called [presents book] "Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford."

Wife: Let me see that... [grabs book, reads] "If you don't have any money, you should not buy anything." Hmm, sounds interesting

Husband: Sounds confusing.

Wife: I don't know honey, this makes a lot of sense. There's a whole section here on how to buy expensive things using money you save.

Husband: Give me that... [grabs book, looks at it] And where would you get this saved money?

CP: I tell you where and how in Chapter 3.

Wife: Ok, so what if I want something but I dont' have any money CP: You don't buy it.

Husband: Well let's say I don't have enough money to buy something. Should I buy it anyways?

CP: No-o-o-o.

Husband: Now I'm really confused!

CP: It's a little confusing at first.

Wife: Well what if you have the money, can you buy something?

CP: Yes.

Wife: Now take the money away. Same story?

CP: Nope. You shouldn't buy stuff when you don't have the money.

Husband: I think I got it. I buy something I want, and then hope that I can pay for it right?

CP: No. You make sure you have money, then you buy it.

Husband: Oh, THEN you buy it. But shouldn't you buy it before you have the money?

CP: No-o-o-o.

Wife: Why not?

CP: It's in the book. It's only one page long. The advice is priceless and the book is free.

Wife: Well, I like the sound of that.

Husband: Yeah, we can put it on our credit card.

CP: [shakes head]

Announcer: So get out of debt now, write for your free copy of "Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford." If you buy now you'll also receive, "Seriously, If You Don't Have the Money, Don't Buy It!" Along with a 12-month subscription to "Stop Buying Stuff Magazine." So order today!

To see the actual clip of this Saturday Night Live (SNL) Skit, click the link
Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford